Seasons Read online

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Copyright © 2005 by Bonnie S. Hopkins

  All rights reserved.

  Published by Warner Books with Walk Worthy PressTM

  Warner Books

  Hachette Book Group

  237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

  Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com.

  First eBook Edition: October 2005

  ISBN: 978-0-446-56150-1

  Contents

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Memories

  Moments

  Manipulations

  Mercies

  Matrimony

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  To my gracious Heavenly Father, who began and completed this work. Each time I tried to make it my story, You faithfully redirected it back to the right path. All praise, honor, and glory to Your name.

  To Kym Fisher, who believed from the very beginning and never doubted her mother could accomplish this God-given assignment (thanks, Squirt), and Rev. Harold Fisher, whose wisdom in the Word was so helpful.

  To my little inspirations: Nicholas and Sydnee Fisher, whose unceasing joy and enthusiasm for life encourage me and give me hope for the future.

  And

  In memory of

  Timothy Fisher and Taylor Hopkins,

  who fought a good fight and brought a brief, but strong, light into the world.

  Acknowledgments

  To my WONDERFUL supporters:

  Kym and Rev. Harold Fisher, Cynthia Johnson Biggers, Reba Ball, Margaree and Kevin Mitchell, Jewel Mitchell Walker, Andrew Johnson, Sandra Hopkins, Arnetta Johnson, Lula Nelson, Tanja and Reg Murray, John and Virgie (fabulous) Montgomery, Janine Moore, Carroll Roesler, Yvette Chargois, Joyce Walker, Erika Larkin, Lydia Cannon, Sylvia Teague, DeDe Greene, Rhenae and Clem Abrams, and Alice Burnam.

  You have fervently prayed and made yourself a resource by asking (or telling) me what you could do to help. And when I did ask for help, you graciously responded and got it done. You have regularly encouraged me through cards, e-mails, and phone calls, or perhaps spoke a kind or encouraging word when it was most needed. You listened patiently when I whined and complained (even when I knew you were thoroughly sick of me). You harassed and pushed when I was in one of those places. You constantly sent or called with all kinds of helpful information. Some of you have just been there . . . a quiet but strong leaning post of support and wisdom.

  Whatever the case, I simply say a heartfelt THANKS to all of you, and may God richly Bless you!

  To those of you not listed, but who have supported me through prayers and positive thoughts for the success of Seasons, please know that I am grateful.

  To Denise Stinson and the Walk Worthy Press staff! Only a new author can understand what it means to get “the call.” I will never forget the day I received that call that ushered me through the door and brought us to this point. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! And God Bless you! I am eternally grateful for the wonderful opportunity you so graciously provided for me to tell this story.

  To Time Warner Book Group and editor Frances Jalet-Miller and copy editor Susan Higgins, I am abundantly appreciative of your conscientious hard work and expertise. (You guys are great!)

  To the readers! I enjoyed writing Seasons for you. And as I wrote, I prayed that this book would bless you, and encourage and inspire you to walk through your seasons in victory. I am supremely thankful for your support, and I hope this story will help you remember to trust God through every season, because as the characters so aptly demonstrate, SEASONS DO CHANGE!

  To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

  A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

  A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time for peace.

  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

  Prologue

  Ooooh! This is not good! Jaci had come face to face with the unsettling fact that there was no more time for thinking, analyzing, or prevaricating. She was just minutes from walking down the aisle.

  Questions and doubts continued to torment her. What am I doing? Have I lost my doggone mind? How did I get myself into this? I’m so set in my way of thinking and living, do I even want a husband?

  She nervously paced and fought the sensation that the walls were closing in and vital air was thinning. Why these questions now? This should be a settled issue. Definitely not a good thing!

  She talked out loud to herself, verbalizing her thoughts—her doubts. “My life may be deficient in certain areas, but I’ve managed to obtain a modicum of peace and contentment. I’m self-sufficient, free to go and do as I please, and too old to be changing things at this stage of the game. Love aside, do I need to be giving up life as I know it for the unknown . . . marriage?”

  She swallowed repeatedly in an effort to quiet the butterflies that churned in her stomach. They had to number in the hundreds! What is wrong with me? Why am I stressing like this? She yearned for the comfort and peace of her family room—pictured herself in blissful solitude, reading a book or watching a good movie—far removed from this wedding scenario. But wait . . . she loved this man!

  Old demons who had made a home in her mind years before wouldn’t be quieted. But can you . . . do you dare trust him? Frustration filled her as she recalled that her family room, cluttered with the belongings of out-of-town relatives, was anything but serene right now. She shook her head, trying to clear it. I don’t need to be in here alone with all these crazy thoughts!

  She stuck her head through the door and called out for her daughter. “Randi!” Hearing the stress in her mother’s voice, Randi rushed into the room followed closely by Sister Sadie. Jaci looked at them, distress evident on her face. “I’m having second thoughts about this ya’ll. I just don’t know if I should be getting married. Is Jason here? Oh God, what if he’s changed his mind? What if something goes wrong? Is all the wedding party here? Do I look okay?” She nervously fired off question after question.

  Randi admired how beautiful her mother looked in the exquisite custom-made gown. “Mama, everything is fine, you look beautiful, and I know you’re not questioning God’s blessings.”

  “I just don’t want to make a mistake,” Jaci whispered. “You know I had lost all hope of this ever happening. I thought I was destined to remain single. What if I was right?”

  “Mama,” Randi said with impatience. They’d had this conversation many times before. “You may have had a long wait, but don’t you think God has come through in a great way? I mean, look at Jason—handsome, rich, and crazy about you. You can’t get any better than that.”

  Jaci smiled waveringly. “He is something, isn’t he? I guess that’s why I’m having such a hard time believing this is happening. I keep thinking it’s too good to be true. What if I’m just grasping after long dead dreams?” Her voice grew faint, weighed down by doubt. “What if this is a mistake I’ll end up regretting?” Her eyes filled with tears. “I
couldn’t stand that.”

  Before Randi could attempt to calm her mother’s frazzled nerves, someone called for her and she turned to tell them she would be there in a second. She grabbed her mother’s hands and spoke hurriedly. “Mama, you’re just having some prewedding jitters. Relax! Everything’s going to be fine.” She tossed a worried look at Sister Sadie before walking away.

  Sadie Brooks listened to the troubling conversation between Jaci and Randi and shook her head as sadness dimmed her happiness. I’ve got to talk to this girl! she decided.

  Sadie was like a mother to Jaci. Sadie remembered when the young mother had joined the church many years ago. After it became apparent there was no husband in the picture, Jaci had been judged as “unacceptable” by many of the members. Oddly, her child was warmly accepted and embraced, while Jaci was deliberately ignored. Jaci had been hurt and puzzled by their rejection but finally stopped seeking their acceptance and concentrated on serving the Lord. But something about Jaci had touched Sadie’s heart. She had shunned the masses, taken Jaci under her wing, and now enjoyed a mother-daughter relationship with her that others envied. Help, Lord, Sadie prayed. The devil is trying to use Jaci’s past hurts to destroy her future. Please give me the right words to say to her.

  Jaci took deep breaths, but calm eluded her. She couldn’t stop the disturbing memories of the last few months. I’ve been stalked, attacked, had my life threatened, and almost lost my job over this man. Randi’s father even showed up making demands. Was the Lord trying to tell me something?

  Her legs trembled and she badly needed to sit down before she fell. A chair across the room beckoned, but the need to run from the room and out of the church as fast as she could became paramount. Should I? If this marriage is a mistake, wouldn’t it be better to stop it now? The temptation to run was strong, and the demons in her mind pressed their case. Think! Remember all you’ve been through during the last few months! What about these questions, doubts, and fears plaguing you? What if they are trying to tell you something? Remember the difficult years—years that are now behind you. And most important, think about the peaceful existence you’ve obtained. Do you want to give it up for the unknown? Girl, you better think!

  In the midst of her confusion, one lucid thought finally broke through. Pray! Oooh, thank You, Holy Spirit. She began praying out loud frantically.“Lord, I’ve talked to You about this marriage for months and I believed it was in Your will and purpose. But why am I stressing like this? Father, I need You to quiet these doubts and fears and show me what to do. Now! Please! Before I do something I’ll regret!”

  But the dark memories and tormenting doubts refused to be quelled. Was she about to make a serious mistake?

  “Lord, are You going to answer? Please guide me, Father.” The churning in her stomach turned to nausea.

  “What’s wrong with me?” she asked in self-disgust while clutching her stomach. “I’m too old, been through too much, know better than to let myself be stressed out like this. Surely my long, difficult journey has taught me something! Father, what are you telling me?”

  A few seconds later, she turned and walked across the room as swiftly as her shaky legs would carry her.

  “Jaci!” Sister Sadie frantically called. “Wait a minute!”

  Memories

  June 1981

  Graduation day from college was a scary, exhilarating, wonderful occasion!

  Twenty-one-year-old Jacetta Winters clutched her college diploma tightly and thanked God that four years of year-round classes had finally paid off. Exuberant and optimistic, she overflowed with hopes and dreams. She was ready for challenges to be overcome and adventures to be explored. Look out world; she was ready for anything! Or was she? Years later, she would remember that day and recoil in embarrassment at her extreme naïvete.

  The next week, back home in their small Riverwood, Arkansas, community, Jacetta and her six cousins rejoiced in their victory. From birth the cousins had been inseparable and their notorious shenanigans had gained them reputations of being both villains and heroes. Now, with the exception of one who had dropped out to get married, they all celebrated becoming college graduates.

  Identical green eyes, a Winslow family trait passed down from Jacetta’s maternal grandparents, stared out from the face of each cousin. “Ya’ll, the only thing I regret is that for the first time in our lives, we’re all going our separate ways,” Jacetta told them tearfully.

  “I know,” C.J. answered in a shaky voice. “Can you believe it? Dusty going into the Marines. Buddy headed to Michigan to take a job, and Big Ben moving to Little Rock to be a high school coach. Now who would have figured that!” They all looked at Big Ben and laughed.

  “I’m really going to miss ya’ll.” Jacetta’s eyes traveled around the circle. “I’m already wondering when we’ll see each other again.” She found them solemnly staring back at her, probably wondering the same thing.

  Seeking to lighten the mood, Gina asked, “Is everybody else all set to leave? I know I’m not.” The cousins had been excitedly talking about their plans for months, but as some of them had already discovered, and others would soon learn, the best of plans could fall apart in the blink of an eye.

  “Buddy and I are driving to Little Rock with Big Ben to catch our flights,” Dusty explained. “It wouldn’t do to hang around too long. We might change our minds about leaving.”

  “It’ll probably be next weekend before I leave,” Jacetta answered, then looked at C.J. “What about you, Cij? When are you leaving?”

  C.J. looked down and answered, “I don’t know exactly. But it’ll be soon.”

  Dusty decided to mess with Nita again. They had been teasing her all weekend about her pregnancy. “Nita, you sure this guy you married is okay?”

  “Yes, Dusty. How many times do I have to say it?” An uncomfortable grin covered Nita’s face. “And I’m so glad Jace and I will be living in the same city. At least we’ll be able to see each other often.”

  “Well, you certainly didn’t waste any time getting knocked up, if that’s an indication of anything,” Buddy said, causing Nita’s face to flush in embarrassment.

  Big Ben, who had always been a softie, looked as if tears weren’t far off. He finally spoke up to cover his emotions. “It sounds like everybody but Gina and C.J. are set to go. Gina, you planning to hang around ‘the Wood’ for a while?” Gina dropped her head to hide the brief look of pain that crossed her face. “I don’t think so,” she answered quietly.

  He looked at C.J. “What about you, ‘Red’? You still planning to follow that basketball player?”

  C.J. gave a nod of confirmation. “Yeah! And call me ‘Red’ again and get punched out,” she threatened.

  “Okay, okay!” Buddy said, interrupting the old argument and falling into his usual role of leader. He looked around the circle and said in a serious tone, “We have to stay in touch, everybody. If I don’t hear from you, I’m coming to look for you. Take care of yourselves and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  Everybody else let out loud groans. “If we did, we’d really be in trouble,” Gina said. They laughed and hugged again before going separate ways.

  The next week, as they traveled to Dallas, Jacetta sat in the backseat of her parents’ car looking out at the passing scenery and fighting tears. She was leaving her small, close-knit community filled with big plans to work a full-time job and take night and weekend courses toward her master’s degree.

  Riverwood, lovingly referred to as “the Wood” by the younger generation, represented her place of security and nurturing, so she wasn’t surprised by the mixed emotions swirling through her. Although ambitious dreams and well-thought-out goals were firmly in place, fears of the unknown clogged her throat while feelings of homesickness were already settling in her heart.

  Jacetta was a private person, so she hated the thought of moving in with her uncle’s family. Uncle George recently retired from the military and his family relocated to Dallas a few m
onths ago. Their small stopgap apartment was already cramped, but Jacetta’s parents insisted, arguing that her uncle and aunt could look out for her, which would also give her a chance to save a little money before getting her own place. True. But she still didn’t like it.

  Thankfully, she already had a job lined up! Her aunt helped her secure a position in municipal government. The entry-level pay wasn’t great, but the job as interviewer and planner for the city’s neighborhood improvement program was right in line with her career aspirations in public administration. Thank you, God! At least her independence was in sight.

  The last thing her dad said to her before heading back to Riverwood squelched a little of Jacetta’s excitement. “Now, don’t you go getting in no trouble out here, girl. You do, don’t come running back to my house. Just remember how you were raised.” His harsh words brought tears to Jacetta’s eyes until she reminded herself that her dad had always felt it was his duty to put a damper on anything that resembled joy. Little did she know then how close her father came to prophesying her future.

  Things were going well! Jacetta was enjoying her job, learning her way around, and taking courses toward her graduate degree. She excitedly checked her growing bank account regularly, anxiously looking forward to the time she would be able to move into her own place.

  Never in her wildest imagination could she have dreamed up Maxie Jackson!

  Her uncle had car trouble one day and coworker Maxie gave him a ride home from work. Of course, Uncle George invited him in for a beer. And naturally, he introduced Maxie to his little niece who had recently moved to town. And yes, the little country girl straight from the woods felt the foundation of her goals crack a little when she looked into Maxie’s handsome face and dreamy eyes. How was she to know that the glow in Maxie’s eyes was one of anticipation as he eyed his next conquest?